it's not the same anymore...

the way he touches me, the way he cuddle, the way he love, the way he make love to me...

but i wanted to pretend all is back to normal.

yes i still am living in denial.

no, you just don't understand...

went back home after my flight from Zurich, not on the touch down day, but the very next day tho, as i needed the rest. this time back home mainly cause i needed to get my medication stocked up since, it has been long time finished. also to go through medical check up and of course as promised to dad, for the consultation.

on the other hand, i was super angry and irritated with AirAsia!

i'm never gonna take AirAsia ever EVER again, trust me..so angry..i shan't rant over it here. but yea, i ranted so much to Hock i think that's like practically more than enough.. shall let the case rest.

so home with the family, precious times. Dinner at LalaChong, a seafood restaurant with Uncle Arnold and his family was good. Time spent with loved ones are always sweet and good.

And who in the world would ever thought that dinner at such place could bring you colliding with someone you've missed since high school? and there, i was i-phoning Hock and as i turned, i saw who i've always wanted to see since we've lost touch...Dwayne Chin. From a lil boy he used to be to someone so growned up, that i just can't help but got to look up and talk to him. We hugged. His hug was so warm and cuddly. i like. it felt just right. so comfortable, to a certain point i didnt wanna let go.but at the same time, a certain awkwardness filled the air.

so yeap, we talked a lil and exchanged cell numbers, once again.

and i hated acupunctures...daddy brought me to the singse for consultation...and then he started saying something to do with the nerves behind my neck, then he start putting needles on me! which i didn't have the chance to stop him from doing so. that's so not right!so unfair!!!

and then the buzzing sound in my ear got even louder than it used to. told the doctor about it, he came and put another 2 needles close to my ears.

WTF right?!? super angry la. i super non stop complaining to Hock after that. then i felt so much better.

Came back to Singapore with JetStar airways. Hock told me that he couldn't come and pick me up from the airport. hence, i took a cabbie to his place just to spend some time with him.

and then lil jared was still widely awake!!! omigosh!!!

he came running to me with a wide smile and..."jie jieeeeeeeee!!!!" and then jump on me.

planting kisses on me and a big lil' hug he had! tell me how not to melt. tell me???lol.

terus melt larh.

then i brought him into the room and tried to put him to sleep. while his daddy was playing the guitar in the other room, Jared came over and join as well. he took his sister, Jadyn's guitar and played but accidentally knocked his daddy's guitar which is hanging on the wall, having Hock scolded him. the shocking look on lil jr.'s face was practically plastered on him. then i told him, come tell daddy goodnight and then we go oi oi ok?

he held his daddy's face filling his two lil' hands and say," darddie!!ghuuuudnaighhht!!......"

aiyoh!...sho super cute larh..tell me how to be angry?haha. carried him to the other room and literally threw him on the bed, gave him a schmacck on his pampered buttocks and planted a goodnight kiss on him and pat him to sleep. felt like a mummy, but in a good way. think lil' Jared is getting alil' attach to me already. good thing no?

(:

hock sent me home and then i prepared myself with homeworks for Abu Dhabi flight tomorrow.

nights people.

of 2nd date (:

for the first ever time after so long, that i was thrilled to actually catch up with him. after my flight last night,he came to pick me up and we spend time together. infact getting to know each other better. i'm glad he actually make the effort in coming to fetch me from the airport and also do his best in asking me alot of questions in regards to myself.(or was it me who was practically rambling most of the time?)lol..oh well,whatever it is, i had a funtastic time!(: until...

when he sent me back last night, i entered my house to realised that i totally forgotten to take the remote control from my housemate.(yes, the three of us, my housemates and i, shared the aircond remote control). don't ask me why, we survived somehow anyway. so yeap, i called him, and told him that i will be spending the night having a sauna. he suggested me to put a night in his place.(in the beginning, i was like...are you sure girl, that it's gonna be a good idea?hmmm) but i know a big part of me wanted to spend more time with him, hence agreeing with the offer.

his kids weren't home, therefore, we had the house to ourselves. spending the night with him, just cuddling...i think it says it all (:

and yes, we spent the night together. just him and i.

the next day, we practically spend our whole morning till late afternoon, doing nothing but cuddling in bed.(something i've been wanting to do since forever but i never found the right person to do with)...until him. being in bed, skin to skin just feels so good!)

then martin called asking if we would like to go out. at first it was to the beach but then, we ended up meeting the rest of his friends. then we went to suntec city toys 'r' us to get christmas pressie!(: i just love love spending time with him!

*a pic of martin and i in Hock's car*
*trying another shot while martin is driving, with me making funny face!*

*lastly, not missing a picture of us to conclude this happy time(:*

as i write this, i'm missing him already...le sigh...

the lil' something that matters.

after dinner, Hock send me back home and to realized that i totally forgotten my keys!!!therefore, i do not have any access to my room.

):

he accompanied me the whole entire night and helped me in fixing my doorknob.

yes the noob me for always forgetting my keys.

He bought a new doorknob for me(which is very kind of him) and bought fish porridge for me for dinner as i wasn't feeling too well somehow.

after replacing it for me,Hock and i have our dinner together.

there was this moment of silence which was quite awkward that both of us suddenly burst out laughing for no reason at all! lol.

it was so funny that we laughed till our tummy hurts so badly.

then it was me again who talked and talked and blabbered all night while he sat there enthusiastically and patiently listening to my rambles of such.

*teehee(:

when he was about to leave, i just realized that i totally forgotten to ask my house mate to leave the air-con remote control before she leave for flight. hence, i was about to face the heat for that night. (the rest will be mentioned in the next post.)

as for now, we spent the night together just whispering sweet nothing.

loving this feeling!

star gazing***

As soon as the bestie departs from the land of kiasuism, I received a text message coming from someone totally unexpected. but I was flattered that he actually texted. in the message, i was being asked to catch the Avatar together with him. I was thinking, why not, when i had wanted so much to watch Avatar but didn't have the opportunity in doing so, hence, i agreed to the "date".

He came and picked me up, and then followed by movie and then dinner by the beach. it was actually, really nice,especially ending the night at the beach which i hadn't been doing for long time. After dinner,i didn't want to go back home just yet, as i wanted to take a stroll down the beach. Getting to know a lil' bout each other was really nice. We chased each other along the beach and walking in each other's footprints! It was good fun! And i hadn't been having such fun for quite awhile.

It was till late night that I wasn't quite in the mood to go back home because i was enjoying so much of his company and of course, being able to relax myself after all these years. He suggested to bring me to a part of the beach that he thought that will mesmerized me with how peaceful and nice it was. To be honest, i was at first hesitating (come on! i barely knew him and he' still a total stranger to me)but i agreed anyway...(lol!oh well, there's just something about him that i trust my own instinct that he MIGHT not be a bad guy)

that, place was really nice..quiet and peaceful, and the stars there are so much more beautiful shining brightly all over the sky! i was indeed mesmerized!(:

he laid a mat on the sand and we both lie on it, side by side, gazing at those billions twinkles in the sky. and in the midst of counting the stars and naming them, a shooting star just shot by! immediately, i shut my eyes, put my palms together and made a wish. and hoping it will come true.

we talked more. at first, it was just plain getting-to-know-each-other conversations, i wasn't feeling anything but all comfortable lying by his side somehow, till a moment whereby, we somehow came to a discussion in what kinda girls is he into and me on guys, and that, i started asking him if he is interested in anyone at my Christmas party!

there's this sudden awkwardness surfaced when he told me that he was interested with the girl who is all so bubbly and cheerful and who is at the moment, lying just beside him, staring up the sky with him. i wasn't really taken into it. (especially i know the last time me, would have felt something ain't right when a guy treating you so well and has been paying so much attention to you for the past few days that you both been catching up with mutual friends, but somehow, the me today was not at the moment in wanting to see anyone let alone having those womanly instinct).

i suggested to wanting to go home where i was in a state that i wasn't being able to believe if what i'm hearing is true or to even think of anything in relates to this. he agreed in sending me home of course.

later, before i actually put m mind into peace, i text-ed him telling him that its fairly impossible of him to be interested in me when we hardly knew each other. he tried convincing me that he was not joking around and that he would really like to continue to see me if i'm OK with it because he likes to be around me. it took me awhile to actually agreed to get to know him better through catching ups as the starting ground.

I've never really open myself to dating seriously for the past a year and a half ever since this guy just broke my heart and left it there. i literally picked the pieces to patch it back up till today, when i decided that, this man, there's something bout him,(i really don'tknow what) that i can be very comfortable with. that i do not need to pretend to be someone who i am not,whom i can talk so much and when he looks into my eyes...

i asked him,"ermmm...is there something wrong?"

he answered,"you have really beautiful eyes do you know that?"

and i in return, blushes and replied,"well ok,u know you don't have to compliment me just so i will be convinced with how you felt about me."

and he shot me back with a,"just say thank you and accept the compliment when someone gives you, you do have beautiful eyes, be confident!"

i was taken aback at first, when all my life, i never had someone telling me what to do and giving it back to me just like that. even my closest friend doesn't do that. and who is he to just give it to me?! but i was shock how he made me accept the compliment, and that made me felt this guy is different, i just know it. well, my strong womanly instinct.

the night was good, really. well, i secretly named this part of the beach..."OUR BEACH"...where i know something beautiful is gonna happen.heh(:

so tah,people, hope you're glad that i'm finally opening up to really seeing someone again.

(: