it somehow felt different lately

i wonder what makes the differents these days
it just dont feel the same like how it once used to be.

phone calls, the sense of urgency to get a ticket and to get maximum offdays to be back home
was once used to be the top of my list.
but somehow, things changed.
feelings diversed.
it's not like my love for home has changed
it's just that, things aren't feeling right everytime i was home and conversations on the phone are practically topicless.

all i felt like doing whenever i'm in Singapore, is to try getting flights to do, just to keep myself occupied rather than being alone and think nonsense. and flying somehow makes me felt like i have friends and company throughout.

it's like today,
i decided to call home. to confirm what plans i had planned for my upcoming leave which i was anticipating eversince.
then to find out that things were changed.
i was overly upset. and i was so turned down that i do not have the mood to resume the plan anymore.
maybe i wont be going back home this time round for my leave and most probably i'll be volunteering for flights to do then.
least i wont be sad and unhappy.

well, somehow things changed.
will they return to its normality?to how it used to be?
i do hope so. because i misses how much i used to miss home.
really, i do.